Do you like your job? Do many people like their job?
Now it’s not a brilliant job, in fact it’s one many look down their noses at but I’m good at it and I like it. I get paid just slightly over minimum wage do a hell of a lot for my wages but it makes all the difference when you enjoy what you do.
The only issue is our store working hours are long and unsociable and as a member of management im expected to be available to work as long as the store needs staff in which is fair enough.
The problem is im a single mum! Regardless of anything else my daughter is my main priority! I have tried to make it work over the past 12 months I really have but it’s just not working for me right now and it’s affecting Olivias behaviour. I can’t be expecting someone else to put up with her temper tantrums which happen basically because she’s missing me.
She has to come first and if it means sacrificing my career then so be it. I have the rest of my life to work but not so much time to watch her grow up, to experience the joys of being her mum and teaching her and watching her develop into a beautiful young lady. Those times are not worth missing just for a job how ever much I love it. The guilt I feel everytime I arrange for her to stay out as I have to work till 9pm and then open up At 7am is just horrible. The guilt and anger I felt when her teacher suggested that I wasn’t around enough and more importantly the guilt of not being able to be a proper mum is too much.
Don’t get me wrong I am the biggest champion of working mums but personally for me my situation is all wrong and I have to change it. The thought of knowing someone else is witnessing all the moments I should be getting is heartbreaking and I feel like I’m constantly fighting a battle with myself over what is best for us and our little family, a fight I expect most working mums endure everytime they say goodbye and head out the door to work. And working dad’s too, sorry I realised I was coming off a bit sexist there I should really say parents shouldn’t I. It does affect us all.
So ive done it I’ve made the first step and even tho its something I wished I didn’t have to do it will be so worth it to finally stop fighting with myself and enjoy my time with my daughter before those fabulous teenage years arrive and I’m clambering to be anywhere but stuck in a house with all those raging hormones! Dramatic I know, but she is so similar to me it’s quite a scary thought remembering how I was growing up *covers hands with eyes and cringes*